hope (in ramble form)

what is it you want me to tell you?
One minute, I can trust you.
And you'll always be there.
No matter what.
and now, I find out,
you fed me false hopes?
And lied to my face?
Well let me tell you something,
i tried not to believe it, but
what do you want me to say?
that love is everywhere, and life is beautiful?
well, being your friend, it is my duty
to tell you the truth.
There are plenty of things about life I just don't know.

There are millions of stars out there,
I don't know how they are formed
Or why
But they are the reason I believe in beauty

I have no idea who I am
I am not lucky. Or smart. Or beautiful.
I am not always happy
But I am not unhappy.
I am constantly changing.
And maybe that doesn't work for you.

But every person I meet
Every class I take
Every second I am learning about love
And life
It makes the dials in my head turn
And it fills in one more empty space in my
Color-by-numbers of life

I have realized, though,
That I am one of the hopefuls
Of all these hopeless souls that wander this earth
With nothing,
No ambitions
No goals

So as I lay my guard down
I pray you
Don't judge
Or aim to kill
I am just as lost and confused
I will stand here before you
With hope in my heart
As my soul aches for acceptance and
Yearns for the unknown

Because, although my eyes are not set in the distance
I am watching my life unfold before me
And taking it one step at a time

So no, I am not the perfect person
I am not the perfect daughter
Or the perfect friend
I have much room for improvement
As do we all
And I will learn.

So.. now I have spilled my heart to you.

I hope you're happy.