self portrait

She puts on her makeup for no one
she hides
her thick black lashes disguises her from the world
but does it mask her from the pain

learning the hard way
swiping the shadows across her lids was what kept her from swiping a knife

alternatives

thicker and thicker
darker. more defined

killing herself more and more with each stroke
for every picture of every kiss
more shadows. more colors. less reality.

with every swipe she receives a free admission
change of brush. change of pace

the colors danced.
brown. red. blue. black
her eyes bled black

all her makeup on the counter
along with her tears
along with her alternatives

her focus broke - her reality disappeared
her dreams. her lashes
plucked off one by one
her shadows on a paper towel

screams echoed inside her head
no sound was heard

she dipped her brushes in a glass of water.
maybe tomorrow
-she said-
we'll paint a better picture